How arranged are love marriages?

Popular media (actually even the not so popular ones too) champion love marriages. Brands love them, many run ads on these themes. Even culturally, in a peer group the ego boost that one gets also seems to indicate that this is what many want.

First, does this term claim that arranged marriages then do not have any love or they have a lesser proportion of love? Second, do love marriages then does not have a sense of arrangement then. To avoid such things, some folks call it self arranged.

However, still the term does differentiate on who arranges I think there is a certain amount of indication of a difference in degree of arrangement. So, in that way are self arranged marriages less arranged and are arranged marriages a little more arranged then?

One could argue, saying more people are involved, hence more arranged (more decision makers). Other than that it looks like it is pretty much the same. The ceremony, the life afterwards or even the immense self importance that one might develop.

My argument is that self arranged (love) marriages are more arranged than the arranged ones.

As outrageous as this sounds, here are is my reasoning:

1. A lot of love marriages are shaped by others’ marriages in general and parents’ marriage in specific. The negatives tend to influence unfairly more than the positive aspects.
2. Popular media bombards us with idea. Many TV shows, many movies and a large share of books are dedicated to constantly remind us about it to point of irritation.
3. Friends and peers- noticed how a person falls in love and there is a little bit of one upmanship over the other “losers”.
4. Many a business is waiting for you to fall in love so that they can monetize it. So they market it.
5. Apps like Tinder want you find the compatible one by looks, while social media platforms help you make it data driven

Fear of the unknown and fear of missing out is what many of them play on. Look at the sheer number of people who want arrange marriages for you. The whole world seems to be at work- or at least ones who are economically successful!

On the other hand, find someone who is compatible to you and your family rather than:

1. Go around wasting time and mental space
2. Stop assuming that traditional practises are archaic
3. For once, have a distinct identity rather than follow popular culture wants you to do

Call it luck if you do not believe in god or call it grace if you do if you end up having a happy marriage rather trying to control all possible outcomes.